journal | up & up


The shiny new-ness of moving across the country started to wear off for me around the third month in my new city.

All of the possibilities and opportunities that seemed endless before were, now, starting to feel impossible. I was working another job that I wasn't passionate about, I was without community, I had no place to live still, and I had no idea why God had led me to a place just to have me in the same rut. By the end of the year, I was near my breaking point.

Our Father is so incredibly intentional. 

Over the past week, I have seen only a small glimpse of how much purpose was in those first five months. I've learned about my limits, my strengths, my weaknesses, and my spirit. I've learned about grace and humility.

Even more, I've watched open-mouthed as I have seen moment after moment of confirmation that God called me to this city. My job is blessing me with extra work and paid travel, my friends are blessing me with love and kindness, and my Father is blessing me with all of it. 

So now, my calling to live in a place is no longer shiny or new, but warm and alive! It's not a studio apartment downtown and a job at a huge creative company. My calling is to live a quiet life and to work with my hands (1 Thessalonians 4:11). It's a little white house across the river and a job at a life-changing nonprofit. 

grace - (n) the free and unmerited favor of God.

Despite how truly undeserving I am of this life I live, God looks at me with love and grace never-ceasing. 
Abba, thank You so much for who you are and how well You love me. My prayer for this week is that You would use me to reach those around me, that I would see them the way You do, and that I would respond to their needs with a posture of grace and humility.

ever free, ever true, ever kind.