heavy

There is a weight on my heart today. 

I am not discontent or heavy-burdened.

I am not weary or even uninspired. 

I am simply heavy with the weight of the future on my ever-growing heart. 

In a society that teaches us in education, in media, and in constructs that we are supposed to have everything figured out by the day we graduate high school, I feel incredibly small. 

I have only been on this earth for twenty years.

I want to live this life fully. 

I don't want to live with a mind narrowed by the world's distractions. 

I want life. I want growth. I want movement. I want mistakes. I want love. I want passion. I want mystery. I want adventure. 

I want to stand by the ocean and feel the depth of my quickly fading breath. 

I want to stand on top of the Colorado Rockies and humble myself in the majesty of the mountain air. 

I don't want to feel weighed down by a society that tells me to be more, do more, say more, move more when my Beloved calls me to wait and be still. 

I don't want to miss an opportunity for Him to use me, for Him to move others through me, because I'm too focused on changing my story to meet what my culture has told me is the right path. 

I want life, and I want life abundantly. 

I want my roots in Love and my limbs showered by the peace He gives to those who He calls. 

I want life that overflows, that flourishes, that grows. 

I want to be evergreen in Christ.


ever free, ever true, ever kind.