If you asked me three years ago what I hated about myself, I would have said something along the lines of: "I feel everything too much."
I don't remember a time where my emotions didn't stir up passion within me in some way. Sadness for me is a deep low. Happiness is overwhelmingly high. Anger is painful, though it is my least common emotion. Anxiety is crippling.
As a girl, my family tried to teach me to "grow thicker skin" to protect me from the hurt of the world. Looking back, I can see what I needed wasn't thicker skin, but an understanding that this sensitivity, this deep heart-well, this passion is a gift.
1. My passion never stirs me to apathy, but action.
2. My passion allows me to empathize and sympathize in an incredibly profound way.
3. My passion is a reflection of God's image in me.
It took me years to understand that it's okay to feel and it's okay to feel deeply too. For some reason, society today tells us that it's cool to be apathetic. It's socially acceptable to not care for the people around you because the only thing that really matters is you... right?
Dear friends, I don't want to live like that.
I want to live my life serving others and loving them as deeply and as truly as I possibly can.
This season has been one of becoming who I am in Christ: a new creation, yes. But really, the creation that God intended for me all along. I am becoming ever truer to myself, to the soul that was created by the most Tender-Loving Artist. No longer will you find me hiding behind the shadows of stories that I wish were my own, but living fully in the Light and letting Him transform my heart bit by passionate bit. I'm learning that one of the truths of my heart is that it is deep, it is aware, and it is driven by hope.
I am learning to embrace this fervent spirit that God has blessed me with. I'm learning to use it to listen, to be near, to love in all gentleness. I'm learning to not live within my chest or my head, but to live with my eyes fully on Love.
May we never fear emotion, but run with abandon after the One who feels so deeply that He abandoned all for us.
ever free, ever true, ever kind.