going back home

Maybe it's weird to say this, but Portland feels more like home to me now than Tallahassee does. 

Tallahassee, Florida

It's a town with bright, hot summers and wet, cold winters. 

It's a town full of college students in a state full of grandparents. 

It's where some of my favorite people in this entire world live. 

It's where I learned about love, constellations, campfires, struggling, honey, manatees, and live oak trees. 

It's where I called home for 20 years. 

And yet, something made me feel incredibly uneasy when I got on the plane to go back. 

I spent so much of my time in Tallahassee feeling misplaced and discontent.

I watched as agencies I worked for, schools I attended, and churches I was involved in were corrupted by people who were inauthentic and careless. 

I was too passionate, too outspoken, too headstrong, too restless. 

I felt called away from Tallahassee when I was 17.

Maybe I'd make it to Austin, Texas for seminary by 18.

Maybe Burlington, Vermont for psychology by 19. 

In His perfect timing, God made me wait three years before He showed me where I needed to be.

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Portland, Oregon

It's a city with misty rain and foggy mornings. 

It's a city full of transplants from all over the world.

It's where I've gained the biggest community of faith-filled creatives that I get to call friends. 

It's where I'm learning about life, fir trees, donuts, couchsurfing, waterfalls, bikes and the meaning of home. 

It's my home. 

My trip to Tallahassee for the first time in eight months really taught me the weight of my adventure to the other side of the country. I was called here. I was made to live in my little white house with the green door. I was designed to work for an organization who protects, nurtures and advocates for native children and families. I was crafted to be in the missional community that I live life with. 

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It is a beautiful thing to be uniquely aligned with the Father's footsteps. I have fought, I have rebelled, I have resisted - and He used it all to bring me here. Maybe I'll live in Portland for seven years or maybe seven decades, but either way, it will always be a city I call home. 


ever free, ever true, ever kind. 

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